If the Hulk can smash, why can't The Gahan House SMaSH?

The Gahan / PEI Brewing Co. don't always have it right (like their recent commercial snafu), but, sometimes, they just don't stand a chance. Let's not even get started on the whole restrictive "anyone making beer on PEI can't brew one over 6.5% alcohol" law. Let's just look at what you can and can't call alcohol on PEI.

A couple of weeks ago, The Gahan House released a limited-release in-pub-only beer, simply called SMaSH, with the tagline, "Come get SMaSH" or something like that. Well, apparently the powers that be somewhere in the PEILCC thought that that would encourage binge drinking. So, Gahan had to erase any trace of it on Twitter and Facebook, and had to stop calling it SMaSH. Even though SMaSH is just an acronym... an industry term for a beer that's been made with a Single Malt and a Single Hop variety. They're not the first brewery to run into naming issues (check out this article from last year, for example). It just seems like over-regulation to me... and not good regulation at that.

So... it got me to thinking. I wonder what drinks they sell at PEILCC stores that could be offensive... here's a list of most of them:

  • Coors Light Iced Tea - another great acronym, guys!
  • Fat Bastard Merlot - what's wrong with that?
  • Cat's Pee On A Gooseberry Bush - guess that won't encourage binge drinking
  • Girl's Night Out Chardonnay - they never get hammered on girls' night
  • Coskspur rum - ouch!
  • Wisers - does NOT make you wiser
  • Shiver vodka - shiverin' drunk?
  • Williams and Humbert Dry Sack sherry - gross!
  • Eagle Hawk Merlot - what the Hell is an Eagle Hawk? You trust these people to make safe wine?
  • Eye Spy Red - total communist beverage
  • Wally's Hut Shiraz - speakeasy! Blind pig! Bootlegger!
  • Primitivo IGT - get drunk like a cave man!
  • Goats Do Roam - were they drunk when they named this?
  • Menage a Trois Red - skanky!
  • Deinhard Hans Christof - offensive to Bruce Willis!
  • Exclamation Point Verdicchio - too loud and in your face... like a drunk person!!!1!1!
  • Fireball - brings back IRA memories. Painful!
  • Rockstar Original - does not make you a rock star!
  • Wildass White 2006 - nudity!
  • Van Gogh Vodka - might be missing an ear in the morning

What can we all take from this semi-humourous look? While beer needs to be taken a bit more seriously and should be given more attention, serious attention doesn't mean those in charge need be unduly strict.

Oh, and for what it's worth, SMaSH is at least tied for the best beer that's ever come out of The Gahan House, and I'll be having more of it tomorrow. Too bad they can't tell anyone about it.